May 11, 2010

I have to vent-

I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Mad maybe. Not really mad, but I need to vent. I posted a picture of part of my living room this morning asking about paint colors. I received plenty of decorating advice and things I should change, add and get rid of. I'm sensitive, and this hit me ( I'm sure the wrong way but ) hurtful. I don't have alot of money to spend on decor. The things I have in my home I love and they have been collected over time. Somethings are there because it's the best we could afford, BUT I just want to say one thing- I love my home and it suits me. Sorry if it doesn't suit you. I don't have a home that is full of every trend out there. It's not my style. Now I'm sure your comments were not meant to be hurtful, but helpful- and I'm sorry if I over reacted, but it stings a little when you've worked hard to achieve something and it gets criticized. This is my blog. Where I post stuff that matters to me. So if you don't have something nice to say - don't comment. And those of you who do have nice things to say everyday, THANK YOU, it really does mean the world to me. That's all. Thanks for listening :) xo

42 comments:

Sugar said...

You are so not alone- blogging is meant to be fun and positive. That said- I love your blog. And as a blogger with no budget, we're totally in the same boat. As for your living room, I love your clean simple style. Go with the blue.

abigail said...

I thought your living room looked great!

It's always hard to ask for advice about your house- even with real life friends. I remember going shopping for curtains with a friend and wanting to cry because she was so forceful telling me she hated the things I picked out. She tried to convince me that I should get things I really didn't like and then got offended when I didn't take her advice!

I think people forget that they are supposed to help you figure out what you like best- not remake your home to their taste. And that asking for an opinion about paint is not the same as saying, "redecorate my house!"

for what it's worth, I liked the color on the right :)

Amy said...

aw, sorry to hear that. i didn't see your post..looks like you took it down. too bad people made you feel that way. all that matters is that you love your home!

Raina Cox said...

Some people suck BALLZ!

I had to go to my Google reader to see the (tiny) photo of your living room.

Looked lovely to me.

Sarah Jane said...

i agree, why spend the time commenting negatively. i think your home is beautiful! i have found the most eceletic pieces that made up my living room and bedroom, much of it i scouted out in flea markets and craigslist, some may not love the outcome, but i love every story of each item and all together it is a part of me. i can imagine feeling badly if someone was to take a hit at that...i'm so sorry, and kind of love the venting, it's nice to open up to reader's now and then! xo

bluehydrangea said...

What??!! I didn't see the earlier post but I have never seen a picture of your home that was not perfect!! Elegant & stylish. You have great taste and an amazing eye. I am sorry some comments hurt you. I would feel the same way!!! Please don't stop posting pictures of your beautiful home!!!

erica@ moth design+luxe life said...

Don't fret. Some people just feel the need to say dumb things. I had someone leave a graphic comment on little moth about how I was promoting injuries with my foolish design choices (high bunk bed) and that the owner of that bed would find their child in a "pool of blood at the bottom of the ladder" Uh hello- obviously the image isn't in my home and furthermore you're not going to put a 3 yr old in a bed 6 ft off the ground, however, a 17 yr old is likely fine.
I know you in real life, outside of blog land, and I know you have a wonderful family, great style and a lovely home.
Besides it's not our things that make us happy... ask me, the person with lots of "things" whose life fell apart not that long ago. I'd happily live in a shack with my family if I could have the love of my life back.
You've got all of the things that really matter. Family, health, happiness... the rest doesn't matter. So, next time you receive a message that makes you sad... just have compassion. They know not what they do. xo

lauren @ gathering moss said...

i saw your post in my google reader and clicked over to comment, but it had disappeared - now i see why :( i think your living room looks lovely, and any of the three shades will be suit, depending on the mood you want the room to have (the darkest shade is moody/dramatic, the blue kinda beachy). like you said, it's YOUR house and it should feel how YOU want it to feel. and it's wonderful that you're collecting things over time, that's how you create a meaningful space!

A Perfect Gray said...

babe. hang in there. and I am glad you vented. I saw the post title in my reader and thought, 'great! some personal photos...' but then it wasn't there. Please realize that most all of us actually look forward to personal spaces and we are not gonna critcize. (Unfortunately, there are a few exceptions..) We are so inspired by real homes and real lives. if you are like me, your home is so much of a personal extension of yourself, sometimes it's hard even to have folks we know over...

keep being brave about it...we love it and it pleases us to no end to see your talents...

Terri said...

Sarah - I love your room and I love your style. I understand not having a decorating budget... I'm there too. I'm sorry to hear that the comments were so disheartening. I usually just go with the gut when it comes to paint. (We were gutsy enough to let our then 2-year-old choose the paint colors for her new bedroom!) Paint never feels permanent, so maybe that's why I don't have as hard of a time picking it out. I'll spend much more time picking out a big budget item. So... that's my advice... let the previous comments roll off your back and go with your gut. You can't go wrong!

nkp said...

I'm sorry you took the photo(s) down. I'm sorry I missed them. I wholeheartedly agree with your assertion-if you have nothing nice to say, move on. I just don't understand people out there who feel the need to attack and criticize someone's personal space. If you don't like it then simply don't comment.

That said, I can't imagine that your home would be anything other than lovely, and personal, and unique. Just as you noted, this is YOUR blog and you should not feel the limited or constrained in any way.

Sending miles your way-nelya

Lady Hatch said...

Opinions are like ass-holes, everybody has one. The internet tends to give people cart blanche to throw up their opinion and hide behind their computer.

I subscribe to your blog because I love your creativity and your ideas and your style. I don't need to love it all, thats what makes you and me individuals.

I love your blog.

Kathysue said...

Sarah, I saw the earlier post and the three choices of paint color. I loved your living room.I am not sure what anyone could find to criticize. I have found in this business you have to be thicked skin and realize we can't please everyone. I know what you mean about a budget. I have always had to compromise but you know what? I am glad. It has kept me grounded and I still have a home I love!! You have to do it for YOU!! I am truly shocked that anyone could say anything negative about the room I saw. I love your style and you need to always stay true to YOU!! That is what we love about you and your blog. Sometimes people just don't know how to word things properly. I feel so badly that your feelings were hurt!! I wish I could reach through the computer screen and give you a big hug(((((((Sarah))))))!! Hugs Kathysue

PS this is exactly why I am so reluctant to show my home. I have my mantle up on a post today, now I am getting a bit nervous.

Post Grad Hair Cut said...

Ah some people don't know when they're being offensive or when their negative opinion is not welcome. Keep doing what you love m'dear. That's all that matters!

nkp said...

That would be smiles, not miles. :0). And I hope they reached you!

Beach House Living said...

Dear Sarah;
I did not see the post of your home. It appears to not be there now. I can certainly understand the "sting" when what you asked for was paint colors and received beyond that instead.

We could use new furnishings sure but in these times just having our home is more important.
Put your photo's back and be proud of where you call home.

All things nice... said...

Aww I never got to see your home, but don't worry everyone has different taste, but if your home is anything like the ideas and inspiration on your blog it must be lovely. Everyone has their own style and don't let anyones comments put you off, at the end of the day we are all individuals and you can have your home anyway you like :) People should respect that and what suits one person may not suit another, I commented on a black wall saying that we don't use that here in Ireland as our weather is just so dull we try to make our rooms bright with creams and yellows like the sunshine :)Everyone is different and everwhere is different, if we all just copied the same interiors the world would be a boring place :)

All things nice...

sarah, flourish design + style said...

Thank you-
You've all put a smile back on my face today.

DECORICA said...

Sarah, I think you should put the post back up. Show off your home. That's one of my favorite things about reading design blogs, getting to see real people's homes. I'm sorry I missed the post. And as for those comments that hurt you, press delete. :)
-erica

Debby Lee said...

Wow, I can't believe someone would be that ignorant as to leave something negative. Most of the beloved bloggers out there are like extended family and everyone is always lifting each other up! Hope you have a good night and don't worry about it ~ your blog & your home are beautiful. xo

Rachel said...

Didn't get to see the post either... but I'm totally in the same boat as you. I'm most definitely on the tightest of budgets here. And my house is a not-so-architecturally-pretty 1979 Ranch-style. So, my house never looks like those in the magazines!! But, that being said, there are many things in it/about it that I love.
Besides, if you had everything "perfect" right now, you'd probably want to change it in a few years anyways!!

I love your blog, and love your always sweet comments on mine (they make MY day!!)

brismod said...

What a shame you took your post down...I would have loved to have seen it. I love seeing all different styles and how people create their personal space.

DREAMER'S DEN said...

oh, sarah!
i'm so sorry i missed your living room photo. i'm sure it was gorgeous...
have you noticed that i have never posted a single photo of my home? yeah, i'm sensitive too!
maybe i'll get your courage one day.
xoxoxo

paula said...

You know I love your style! And yes I have been burned before. Its awful.

Urbanstems said...

Sarah..Hey hun my nana says sometimes in life people say things that are as useful as a chocolate teapot!! On the plus side positivity wins today cos outta your venting you now know you rock and your blog is loved by so many people!! Woo hoo!!..Sinead xx

lisaroy said...

I'm so sorry to hear that - unfortunately I didn't get a chance to see your post (I would have loved to see your personal space since your taste is so beautiful). Try not to take it to heart. It's one thing for bloggers to comment negatively - I've got family who do that! It's made me develop a thicker skin and I've come to realize that my home is MY sanctuary, not anyone else's and if they make negative comments, it doesn't really matter in the long run. I'm glad you vented and maybe it will make people realize that there's an actual person behind the post with feelings. xx

jen said...

Oh dear, some people are so ignorant and live in a little egocentric world of their own without a care for others. This is your blog, and I agree with others in that you should repost your photos and be proud! As a friend I have been welcomed in to your beautiful home, and admire every inch of it!..It is sad that one hurtful comment can take so much out of us,and sap our positive energy...don't let that person win {I am sure if given the chance the person behind the comment would never have the guts to respond in the same manner directly to your face....people like that are chickens and hide behind their computer screen!}...We love YOU + Flourish!!!! Big Hugs...xoxo.

Sketch42 said...

I didnt see your living room. But seriously, I cant ever imagine why people are mean to others on blogs. Its SO, well, mean.

People dont get that writing a blog is hard work, its VERY revealing and its harding putting yourself out there everyday. To have people criticize you or your home is really hard and it sucks.

beki said...

I understand COMPLETELY what you're saying. I've had a few 'not positive' comments about things I've made, and it's never any fun. I'm very sensitive about my home as well, which is why I don't show many photos of it - I couldn't handle any criticism!

the cinnamon post said...

oh Sarah, your space is really gorgeous. I see a lot of really amazing things on this big wide web...and when I love something I feel like saying so. Not once has it occurred to me to say something negative. Just because I didn't like something there was bound to be someone who did - and that is a wonderful thing. Never would I want to offend or hurt anyone and it's a shame that someone has hurt you. I hope it won't stop you from showing more of your lovely home...because so many of us love and appreciate it!
~Tara

Kerry said...

I missed that post Sarah, but what is it with these people. Homes are meant to be sanctuaries. When we open them up to others in the blogosphere that shouldn't change. Go with your instinct for your space and it will be wonderful.

jeffshan said...

Love your blog!!!

Sarah B said...

Hi Sarah, I'm sorry I missed your earlier post - I've been a bit slow getting around my blogs today :)
I don't understand why people are negative - I'm not sure what's achieved by it. It is a little daunting sometimes putting our homes out there as there are just sooo many countless 'perfect' homes (that I doubt are ever actually lived in). I'm like you - I'm on a seriously tiny budget and it is a little frustrating at times when I think but so long as it's comfortable and homey, who should care? I love your blog and your lovely home so keep at it girl!!

Sarah La Rose said...

I can't believe someone was negative about your space. The pictures I have seen are of a very cozy and well decorated home. You must have taken down the post you are discussing. I'm sorry I you had to go through that. Chin up darling, you have so many loyal followers who love your taste. :) xo

Karen@StrictlySimpleStyle said...

Personally, I think homes with items collected over time and that have special meaning to the homeowners are the most attractive and interesting homes. Anyone with a lot of money can put together a gorgeous home, it takes creativity to put together a home on a limited budget. Sorry that any comments made may have upset you.

my favorite and my best said...

who are these fuckers and do you need me to get to skull cracking?
where is this picture? btw?

Smitten Design said...

Sarah- I'm sorry to hear about those comments. I think you are one of the nicest bloggers out there. Keep decorating/designing with your style and be proud of it. You have excellent style- be confident my friend!
xoxo

Team Botanical said...

Jealous. They're just jealous.

I think it was very brave and generous of you to share personal photos of your home. Don't let them get to you.

Rosanna said...

Look, I realize this is not what you are after, however... I'm saying it no matter what in the hope it might help you. Whether it does it or not, it's up to you. YOU and YOU ONLY have the power to take it the way it's meant.

Having a blog is like life. You get to take your choices and people who witness them have the right to have an opinion about them, AND to express such opinions.

It's up to you to acknowledge this... granted, people's opinions can be appropriate or not, and can hurt us. But ultimately it's UP TO US to take ownership of our reactions. It's not another person's fault if an opinion crushes us - and we can't blame it on others if we are so weak that we can't take it.

Time ago, I was in your shoes. I wanted everybody to like me, everyone to agree with me, and everybody to shut up whenever they didn't agree. Then, I decided to grow up.

I took the decision to grow up because I remembered an episode that happened in elementary school. A kid who didn't get the grade he wanted tried to push the teacher to lower the requirements for the grade he was after, rather than trying to improve himself OR to learn that it was - after all - JUST a grade.

Now, it's up to you. You can rant and whine that people criticize you OR you can say "*I* got hurt by the criticism because I thought I didn't deserve it". Then, you can try to assess whether that criticism has some merit or not OR you can decide that after all you don't really care about what people think of you and your blog.

I wish you all the best. I know the road you have ahead isn't easy - because mine wasn't easy as well. BUT it CAN definitely be done. And I'm rooting for you.

miranda taylor said...

I have told you before how much I love your blog and wish I could just move in! and I get excited when you put pictures of your home up!! I always show Lee and ask him how can we steal any of your style for our home? so please don't stop posting pictures of your personal style because I lOVE it and who cares what some snob has to say because their homes are always cold and boring so that alone screams their personality!!!

Jennifer said...

I'm sorry you had to endure this! You shouldn't -- and nor should anyone else -- have to make apologies for having a personal style. It's a shame that not everyone out there agrees. Decorating for a bunch of strangers who read your blog is for the birds!

Inspire my house pretty said...

cant believe people would actually say nasty stuff to someone with such a lovely home....well i think ur home is beeeeautiful x